Words floating in sound。
im not a doll
Saturday, July 4, 2015 11:04 PM

Hi everyone, I'll be ranting on this post, just to remind you. Anyways, my mood's been up and down lately like in the morning, I'm super happy and said like "this will be the happiest day ever" like all the positive vibes are on me, you know. But then, after 5 hours something like that, I'll feel sad somewhere like I got this uncomfy feeling, I don't know why ......... and then I'll be staring at the walls or just an object and I'm lost somewhere. This happens a lot this week ... I'm exhausted, I'm afraid of being happy now because I think that when I feel happy then after that something bad will happen and I'll be sad again. I don't want that .....

I think that no one actually understand my feeling. They asked what happened to me, they asked why am I like this?? but they don't know, they only know to ask that, this. They don't even know the real thing. They treat me like a doll that they can play with. Honestly, I don't ask you to understand me but please try to understand. 

Anyways, lots of people probably don't know this about me but ............ you know, when I like someone, or like I'm attracted to someone or something that I'm anticipated is going to happen, I got this uncomfy feeling in my heart . like during middle school, I'm attracted to this guy because he's cute lol, it's not that serious feeling, just .. you know, but then, one day when I was reading book in class, he disturbed me and I'm like "......". I just let it be. Then, the next day, I was at the stairs watching the sky (that's my hobby) and he's on the stairs too behind me and when I saw him, he immediately turns his head. 

I didn't know that he likes me too... He always looks at my way during assembly, I thought he's looking at someone else. When I know about that,  I tend to avoid him cuz I HAD to cuz my heart can't resist it. It's not that I hate him .... it's like that ............

p/s : Thank you for the anons or whoever that wish me to get well soon, you guys are such a sweet angel. I hope your skin is clear and something good will happens ♡♡♡♡ you guys are being so cute thankss. 

p/s : when I'm sad, don't say anything, just hug me. Why people don't know this .............