new chapter ?Wednesday, April 13, 2016 6:24 PM
Hello everyone, how do I start this ? things have been not going well for me nowadays :( probably because of expectations ? but it's my choice too, I chose to have expectations and when it doesn't go to my expectations or higher, I will become sad, as much as I don't want to, human gets hurt too. At times like this, I tend to see only the bad things that came to me, I didn't see the cute little things that happened to me, like I'm still alive, the person I care is still beside me, breathing, but it's hard to act happy when you're hurt inside. Give me time please to accept everything.
Last year, I had my rebel phase, lol. I was thinking what's the purpose of me studying hard ? I had no dream at that time. So, I started to slack off in my studies, but I know my limit, I didn't aim to be the first , I didn't aim to be the last, that's what I was thinking. I'm always a good girl, always on the first class, but when I reached upper secondary, I started to think, what's the purpose ? But now, regret ? yes, probably no, more to disappointed. Right now, all I need is strength for me to start over, to mend all of this. I won't ask for anything, just a good luck wish ? I badly need it.
I don't know, lately when I'm sad, I'll tell this one person on anonymous, it feels .......... nice like I know that person will always give me support even tho, we probably won't meet. I just like to tell what's going on to random people, is it weird ? probably because I don't want to look weak in front of my friends. I never tell them my problems tho. There's always a reason behind everyone's smile and sobs, behind everyone's success and lose, strength and weakness. Anyways, that's just what I think.
Mooooooooooore to come, the next things to happen is a surprise for me, but happiness is a choice, right ? So, I hope that all of you will make the best choice on everything. Stay strong and healthy. Be nice to people, also, if you don't have nice things to say, keep it to yourself, why care for things you don't like, better to ignore and focus on things you like, right ?